'Just to love You'

"Sometimes in Dohnavur, we, who dearly love the little children about us... have looked up... to see a child beside us, waiting quietly. And when, with a welcoming hand held out to the Tamil "I have come," we have asked "For what?" thinking, perhaps, of something to be confessed, or wanted, the answer has come back, "Just to love you." So do we come, Lord Jesus; we have no service to offer now; we do not come to ask for anything, not even for guidance. We come just to love Thee." -Amy Carmichael

I read this story in Amy's book, 'Rose from Brier', and passed over it without much thought. But this weekend, at the Laborer's conference, something said (and I cannot even recall what) brought the phrase "I have come...just to love you." forcefully to my mind. Since then, I have been thinking about it constantly.
How often do I come to Jesus 'just to love Him'? It seems that I am always coming to complain, or to confess, to share, to question, to thank, to argue, etcetera- but how often to love- to simply adore, wholly, and nothing else?
There is a time and a place for coming and saying "Father, my heart is breaking- oh please, please, give peace, give comfort, or I cannot bear!" There is nothing wrong with coming to Him to say "Lord, give wisdom, give guidance- there are clouds over my path, and I stumble through a dark place, and cannot see where I should go! I am bewildered, God- show me Your direction!" And even, sometimes "Lord, my desires are before Thee- either give me that which I long for so desperately, or give me the strength to go without!"
But, do I always come to tell Him this, and beg Him for that, and never simply for Him, and for nothing else? Am I always the five year old asking incessant questions, rather than Mary, sitting at His feet to listen? Am I the crowds demanding advice, demanding blessings, demanding miracles, demanding healing, and never the woman who came and poured out perfume, who clung to Jesus, not expecting anything, but wanting only Him?
Not nearly often enough, I'm afraid.
Early on in this semester, we discussed at Navigators the difference between following Jesus for what He could give us, rather than for Himself.
I really like what Thomas A Kempis wrote on the subject:
"Many love Jesus as long as they meet with no adversity; many praise Him and bless Him as long as they receive some consolations from Him. But if Jesus hide Himself, and leave them for a little while, they either murmur, or fall into excesive dejection. But they that love Jesus for Jesus' sake and not for the sake of some consolation of their own, bless Him no less in tribulation and anguish of heart than in the greatest consolation. And if He should never give them consolation, yet would they always praise Him and always give Him thanks. Oh, how much is the pure love of Jesus able to do, when it is not mixed with any self-interest or self-love! Are not they all mercenarie who are ver seeking consolations! Do they not prove themselves to be rather lovers of themselves than of Christ who are always thinking of their own advantage and gain? Where shall we find a man that is willing to serve God dsinterestedly?"
Where indeed? In all honestly, I am not that person who is willing and able to serve God with no thought of self. I am far too prone to make my primary concern MY mistakes, and MY challenges; MY uncertainties, and MY needs; MY desires, and MY questions. And yet, I WANT to be different. I want to come to You, Master, not for anything You can show me, and not for anything You can give me, but only for You. 'Just to love You'!
God is reaching out across the world, individual, by individual. I don't have to have all the answers. I don't have to figure out the future or the past. All I need is to keep COMING to Him- for guidance, for conviction, for wisdom, of course- but most of all, before anything else, for Him! At His feet 'Just to love Him'. Not to tear my hair in confusion, but to open myself to His love, and serve Him completely and openly where I am TODAY!
If I will only keep coming, coming, coming to Him, at the proper time He will go through me as He sees fit.
The center of God's will is wherever I am, whenever I am sincerely worshipping Him and glorifying His name. It is safe to rest in His special promise to me ( "I, who made all of these, am perfectly able to direct them in My time"), safe to come to Him 'just to love Him', and for nothing else- not for any of the things I keep thinking that I 'need', or 'need to know'.
If my stresses, and worries, and concerns for the future make me introverted and introspective rather than extroverted, Christ focused, and unselfish, they are destructive, not valuable, and the argument that says 'You have to think about this now so that you'll be ready to make a decision' is merely a Hellish lie!
I want to love Him. I want to be a faithful servant where I am right now, right here, and let my tomorrows rest in His hand, where they have always been.
Lord, teach me to come like a child, wanting nothing, asking nothing, but 'just to love You.'

"If what we call love doesn't take us beyond ourselves, it is not really love. If we have the idea that love is characterized as cautious, wise, sensible, shrewd, and never taken to extremes, we have missed the true meaning. This may describe affection, and it may bring us a warm feeling, but it is not a true and accurate description of love. Have you ever been driven to do something for God, not because you felt that it was useful or your duty to do so, or that there was anything in it for you, but because you love Him?" -Oswald Chambers