The Condemned

O God, I stand
Half in, half out of every laughing crowd
And strain to smile,
The lost on either hand-
With rising guilt, I hear them scoff aloud
From bitter mouths which mock the terror that chokes-
See death behind their camouflage of jokes-
A little while, and all these faces glad
Are cloaked in dust- frail shadows slip away.
Their smiles are horror, their endless laughter mad,
And I condemned, who met them but in play
And warned them not- my fingers seared with blood.

They would not heed a Jeremiad cry-
Or would they heed?- Lord teach me what to say!
How can I bear that judgment should destroy
These hungry souls- my silence is a lie
And hides Your truth- O, spur me on to pray,
Your yearning love, and living Word employ,
That some of these should not forever die-
That You'd supplant their mockery with Joy!

The Future...

The Future flees
Before me- I pursue with faltering feet
Afire to sieze
That gaily mocking echo-
But, tis fleet,
And I, a cripple driven to my knees,
Can chase no more; athirst for guarantees-
For that which one can KNOW-

I dimly sense
This mystery of Time will not arrive
When summoned hence.
Not all my eager grasping
Can contrive,
That I, who see not clearly, Lord, nor far
Should pierce that cloud,unlit by any star.
And it is better so.

Prayer For An Invisible Journey:

So often the temptation comes to arrogance. "Wow- I'm enduring this heartache- if only anyone else knew, how impressed they'd be with my nobleness." Sometimes, one is even tempted to pride by imagining future marvellous feats of faith and courage!:-)
This is worse than nonsense- it's deadly. The greatest heights, and most desperate struggles of my spiritual journey will be invisible to all but God- and rightly so. He intends to reward me at the end- but not to exalt me, or set me in a special position, and the same goes for life along the way. I don't have to worry because I'm misunderstood, unnoticed, or alone. That's the way it's meant to be.
It's delightful to feel that others are following one's progress, cheering at one's successes, and sympathising with one's setbacks, but even this is deceitful. People will come and go in my life, and I will need to continue on. It is for me to trust Him, and to patiently root out every impulse to seek admiration or recognition, or even to be sustained by human encouragement. Comfort and superficial happiness are not what it's all about. That's not how races are won.

Lord, let me be content to pass unnoticing, and unnoticed in and out of human approbation and attention. Let me be impervious both to the traps of praise, and of unjust criticism. Thank You that through these weak feelings of loneliness, and abandonment, I am able to have a greater understanding for the other people in my life, and for all of the hurts which they quietly carry. Teach me to translate this into mercy and encouragement for those You bring my way.

Father, the merry rivers dance
Into the sea without a trace
In all that swelling, vast expanse
Of how they won their arduous race.

O let me leap, as glad as they
Through ev'ry barrier and descent-
Uncaring that the crowd who stay
Will never know which way I went!

Echoes Of the Goal:

As members of the human race, we're not exactly famous for our long attention span. I mean, I've never been anything BUT human, so obviously I can't bring a completely objective, outside-of-the-box perspective to this topic. But I know this: It's difficult for people to focus on any one thing for very long at all. We are distracted by everything, ranging from the weather, to our own day to day comings and goings. One burning passion or interest seems to succeed another as regularly as the changing seasons. I'm that way, at any rate. One week, I eat sleep and breathe Classical music- the next, all I want to do is write poetry. When this palls, along comes a new friendship, or a stack of books, or gardening, or Civil War re-enacting- you name it, it's happened. And all of my former hobbies and relationships melt away into the background, making way for the glory of the New.
But, in all this shifting morass of life, there's something which is never intended to change. Mind you- it does, more often than I like to admit- and yet, it is the anchor, the center of my existence, something which I am always brought face to face with again, and unable to wholly abandon, even in my foolish distractibility. This is my relationship to Jesus Christ. My only purpose in living on earth is to follow Him, to seek Him, to study, mimic, and absorb Him. It may seem, for a flashing moment, more exciting to read Shakespeare, or make quilts, or talk on the phone- or even to write this blog! :-) But there is no doubt that these are phases- passing interests- passing temptations. My goal, still, is Christ.
Back when I spent a lot of time studying Greek and Roman mythology, I learned this story. I've forgotten most of it, but here is how the important part goes:
'Once there was a beautiful girl, who was also a fleet runner. When it was time for her to be married, princes from every kingdom came to seek her hand. But, her father made one stipulation: the man she married, would have to be able to beat her in a footrace. Those who lost would be killed. Now, as it happened, the girl herself objected to being married, and had, as a gift from one of the goddesses, three beautiful golden apples. If any young man began to gain on her in the race, she would simply fling one of these apples along the track- and when he stopped to pick it up, she gained the necessary distance to defeat him. Countless young men tried to win the girl, and died in the attempt.'
Of course, there's more to the story- but, to me, this is most memorable.
Even as fiction, it's kind of astounding, isn't it? Here are all of these men, engaged in a life or death contest, focused on, as their prize, the deepest desire of their hearts- and yet faced with an unexpected and attractive novelty, they are unable to resist the urge to abandon the race in order to seek a useless, but shiny object which can bring them nothing but loss and death. I'd like to call the story improbable- and of course, it is, on many levels. But, it's true as well. True far too often in my own life. Fixed eagerly on Christ as my goal,(and He is not fleeing, but LEADING me!)running hard after His character and transforming power, my eye is caught by something gleaming at the edge of the path- and all of His love, all of His glorious beauty is forgotten in the sudden desire for THAT thing! Not even fear of punishment is enough to detain such an impulse if allowed to take possession of my heart. Ridiculous? Of course! And yet, it happens!
Why is it? What is the appeal in these 'lesser lights', in these dead baubles of cheap metal which enables them to momentarily overwhelm all of the burningly beautiful glory of heaven? I don't think I know the answer. The best I can figure is that, at least in my own life, I allow myself to have a faulty image of God, to form unrealistic expectations. Quite simply, there are desires, and heartaches, and struggles right now which it is no part of His plan to whisk out of my life. Even more- I have an inner, longing hunger for His kingdom, my true home, which is not meant to be truly satisfied here on earth. I stray from the path towards lies because they promise me a fulfillment which He has no intention of giving to me in this life. I demand that He protect me from pain and frustration- and he sends new trials. I convince myself that He will immediately crown my efforts to serve Him with success- instead, He allows temptation, and failure and dryness to come crowding in. My focus tends to be on the externals- how I am interacting with the world around me, what impression I'm making, what affirmation and support I'm receiving. But His perspective is eternal, and internal. He is ever so patiently striving to develop and strengthen in me new life of the sort which will one day thrive forever in His light. It is hard for me to see that, hard for me to not eye enviously any god promising a safe, climate-controlled year of plenty, to not querulously beg Him for 'a king to lead [me] and go out before [me] and fight [my] battles' (1 Samuel 8:20)- or even, to not pursue anything offering enough seeming beauty and excitement to stifle my 'dizzy heart-hungerings', the needs which only He can meet. The trash lying beside the path succeeds in drawing me aside from my goal, not because it is different, but because it is so deceptively like. It has no life of course. No real power or beauty or substance. But it is an echo of the beauty I'm pursing- a shadow of the glory I've been promised, but am weary of waiting for. It claims the ability to satisfy the love and longing which were previously driving me onward after Him. It is frequently so entirely innocent- so wholesome and appealing- no one will rebuke me if I embrace it. But it is empty , valuelesss, temporal air- and worse than that! Acting in such capacity, it is death, a potent spiritual poison! A moment of hesitation in my race- the faintest touch of laxness or laziness- and Satan is crying his wares from every side. Will I press on after Him, through the deadly weight of dryness and discouragement and distraction. Will I cry out to Him in the tangle of confusion? Will I '...[look] round upon a universe from which every trace of Him seems to have vanished, and [ask] why [I have] been forsaken, and still [obey]"? (C.S. Lewis)
The things I appropriate for myself bring no fulfillment. "The beauty or the music in which we thought the beauty was located will betray us if we trust to them; it was not in them, it only came through them, and what came through them was longing. These things- the beauty, the memory of our own past- are a good image of what we really desire; but if they are mistaken for the thing itself, they turn into dumb idols, breaking the hearts of their worshippers. For they are NOT the thing itself; they are only the scent of a flower we have not found, the echo of a tune we have not heard, news from a country we have never visited." (C.S. Lewis)
Lord, give me discernment in how I use my time, and engage my emotions. Don't let me be 'spent in non-essentials'. Oswald Chambers wrote: "The greatest characteristic a Christian can exhibit is this completely unveiled openness before God, which allows that person's life to become a mirror for others... Beware of anything that would spot or tarnish that mirror in you. It is almost always something good that will stain it- something good, but not what is best."
It is so hard sometimes to differentiate what seems to be fun and healthy amusement from that which becomes a distraction and a stumbling block in my race. It is especially confusing to find the balance between devoting adequate time to human friendships and relationships, without giving them priority over my friendship with You. Let it be my firm commitment this semester to 'consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me- the task of testifying to the Gospel of God's grace... forgetting what is behind, and straining toward what is ahead, pressing on towards the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.' (Acts 20:24, Phillipians 3:17) Help me to keep in mind the words of Susanna Wesley: "Take this rule; whatever weakens your reason, impairs the tenderness of your conscience, obscures your sense of God, or takes off your relish of spiritual things; in short, whatever increases the strength and authority of your body over your mind; that thing is sin to you, however innocent it may be in itself."
Lord, don't let me stop and listen to the faint and misleading reverbrations of this shouting triumph I'm seeking- draw me onward through my land of echoes, and shadows, and flickering lamps- this dark wasteland where I see only 'through a glass, darkly', until You are ready to bring me into to the unending splendour of Your light. Until then, don't let me settle for empty promises, or for anything less than my goal. In the overwhelming cacophany of praise which I will one day join, there will be no room, or memory for the wistful plea of echoes!

Hiking Thoughts:

Why do You love me? I must ask.
Searching myself for any worth
Or outward beauty that might mask
My naked soul, with all its dearth

Of virtue, Lord, when shadows mock:
“Could He have chosen such a one?”
And doubts come crying in a flock-
Dark wings- see how they block the sun!

I hold my heart with quaking grip
Small trade for all the marks I miss-
And answer with a trembling lip,
‘He loves, because I gave Him this!’

“YOU gave HIM?”- how the mockers roar
With frenzied laughter at the thought.
“He loved you, creature, long before
Such hideous sacrifice you brought!

Why HE bore nails in either hand,
And made HIMSELF an offering
In order merely to demand
You yield to Him the filthy thing!”

‘Why DOES He love me then?’ I say,
‘What can I give Him in return?
I have no gift which might repay
This gift of His I could not earn.

My doubts all nodded, satisfied,
“You see, your claim is very light
What can you give Him, Crucified
Which was not His before by right?”

Oh what indeed? My heart is naught,
My soul is nothing, to that price.
My service, weak, already bought,
My face too much marred to entice

The King’s bright eyes- and yet I come
My Love, I bring You empty hands
I pour out all my zero sum-
A bitter stream of barren sands.

For verdant Life- my stony soul
For radiant Light- my darkened ray
For jewel-crowned, brimming golden bowl-
A shattered vessel built of clay.

I have no hidden wealth to send
I am no diamond in the rough
Yet hark- this answer of my Friend:
‘I want you, darling. That’s enough!’

The caustic doubters slink away
The sun sinks earthward, unobscured
Red shafts light up the ending day
And I go on my way, assured.

Enjoying Him Forever

"The chief end of man is to glorify God, and enjoy Him forever."
So often I'm tempted to stop at 'glorify God', and forget the rest- but it's equally important.
If I just say 'God's glory', I tend to make my own interpretations, to focus on 'now I will do X, Y, and Z, and He will be glorified- when, in fact, for His glory REALLY to be known, I must be delighting IN Him, united TO Him in worship at every moment... FOREVER! Lord, teach me to enjoy You forever that Your Name might be glorified!
"...Often God meets us in the moment of weakness rather than strength. He doesn't always wait until we feel spiritual, He doesn't always wrap life up in a nice little present with a bow on the top. The life of discipleship, the life of deeper commitment includes ongoing battle and ongoing struggles. It will include fear, worry and anxiety at times. But Jesus is always there."- George Verwer
The sermon today, on Colossians 3:15-17, was an important reminder. Pastor Hund said: "He's still there. He's still working. He's still molding. He's not leaving. He is not going anywhere. There may be agonizing circumstances in your life. Things which you long to be rid of. And He doesn't promise to change that. But He promises to use it all to polish and transform you. 'Let the peace of Christ reign in your heart.' So often we lack peace, because we reject it! We insist on worrying, when He asks us to trust, on having our own way when He asks us to follow. But you're not the 'umpire' in your life. It's not your job to call the strikes. Your job is to accept His Lordship in your life, and His peace. Wherever that leads you."
It's hard to be happy with the place that I'm led today. And it's hard not to be afraid of where I might be led tomorrow. But I'm not the issue. He is. And He has promised a peace that has nothing to do with circumstances or location. And a strength 'made perfect in weakness' Which, if weakness, and willingness (or the longing for it) are His only criterion in selection, means that I am a prime candidate for the perfecting of His strength! :-)

Words, Flesh, and Vapor

Words, Flesh and Vapor by Dell Cook

King Solomon’s description of his pursuit of wisdom and understanding constantly resounds with this seeming lament: “Vanity, vanity, all is vanity.” So much so, that a student of mine once commented that in reading Ecclesiastes, he felt like he was reading a suicide note. But nothing could be further from the truth.

One reason for this misunderstanding is a problem with translation. The Hebrew word that is variously translated “vanity” or “futility” literally means “breath” or “vapor”. Now, please don’t misunderstand. It is abundantly clear that at times Solomon is calling us to consider and remember the transience and insignificance of things in which we so often place our hopes and trust. But on another level, Solomon is giving us some profound insight into the nature of things.

All is vapor. All is breath. The computer you hold and manipulate. The chair on which you sit. The huge rock that we call Earth on which you walk. Scientists tell us these things, all matter, are basically empty space. The solid things are spoken things. They have been breathed, that is to say spoken, into existence. Your body is a sentence beginning with “Let there be…”.

So, with this in mind, we may be able to understand Solomon’s conclusion in a different way. On at least four different occasions in Ecclesiastes, Solomon says something to this effect, “There is nothing better for a man than to eat and drink and tell himself that his labor is good.” (Ecc. 2:24) Seriously? Eat drink and be merry, for tomorrow we die? Isn’t that what the one with no hope says (1 Cor 15:32)? The difference between Solomon and the despairing Epicurean is that he understands that this vaporous existence is a gift. A word. A word of “glad tidings”.

The Word became flesh and now the vapor makes sense. There is nothing better for us than to enjoy the present work, receive the present good pleasure, and perform the present sacrifice of love. This present moment is the present incarnate kingdom. This present moment is the gift from God’s hands.

Past Costing Point

"They had the Death car there... they piled the faggots round it. They lighted them, and a wild, wild wail rose up to the God who looked down and saw it all. Then the horn blew loud and long, and as the fire flamed, one part and then another caught, and as the terrible sound which they called the head-split cracked through the crackling of the wood, they seemed to put all the dread and horror of it into one intense yell. Why do I tell it so? Why break the pleasant scenes of home with this bit of the fiery barbaric? Why? Because it is true! IT IS TRUE! It has gone on like that for thousands of years. It is going on today. Is there nothing in it which speaks? Has it not a voice for you? A voice, yes, and a Cry. The cry God heard when He said long ago, 'The voice of thy brother's blood crieth unto Me from the ground.' Some of you are not much giving, not much caring... You who can resist the half articulate pleading of many and many a heart today, can you resist this? From millions of voiceless souls, it is rising now- does it not touch you at all? The missionary magazines try to echo the silent sob. You read them? Yes, and you skim them for good stories, nice pictures, bits of excitement- the more the better. Then they drop into the wastepaper basket, or swell some dusty pile in the corner. For perhaps 'there isn't much in them.' Very likely not; 'there isn't much in' the silence any more than in darkness, at least not very much reducible to print; BUT TO GOD THERE IS SOMETHING IN IT FOR ALL THAT. Oh! you- you, I mean who are weary of hearing the reiteration of the great unrepealed commision, you who think you care, but who certainly don't, past costing point, is there NOTHING will touch you?" -Amy Carmichael
There is the eternal question: "Do I care past costing point? Is anything less caring at all?" I am asking you, because I find that I must continuously ask it of myself as well. Interest and approval are nothing- it is when you begin to give sacrificially of some part of yourself that you truly become a participant, and not an onlooker in any task. But what is the task? And what will the completion of the assignment demand from us? The answer comes blazing down across thousands of years of human history: "Therefore go and make disciples of all nations..."- and the cost? Everything! "If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters- yes, even his own life- he cannot be my disciple. And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple." It is the passionate desire of God that His name might be glorified among all the peoples of the earth! As a warrant for His imperative 'Go', Christ proclaims 'All authority on heaven and earth has been given to me.' And why? '...because you were slain, and with your blood you purchased men for God from every tribe and language and people and nation.' We might be tempted to say 'But God is so very powerful; the victory is His already? What possible use could WE be to Him?' That is beside the point- the issue is not God's power, or our lack of it- the issue is what He is asking of us. Again, it is so very easy to protest: 'But the world isn't seeking God! Even when they cry out at the barest extremities of anguish, it is not to Him- they are His enemies, enslaved to His enemy, bound in opposition to Him. Why should we battle to give them truths they don't want? And if only He can plant that wholly unnatural desire for regeneration in their hearts, how do we come in at all? What is the use of our going? Besides, they are so depraved- it's not worth the sacrifice-they don't deserve it.' And we would be right of course- they don't! But, Beloved, did you and I? Did we seek our Creator before we were sought by Him? Were we not depraved? Were we anything except His enemies? Were we worthy of the sacrifices others made to see us brought into the kingdom- sacrifices we may not even be aware of yet? For that matter, were we worthy of the ultimate sacrifice made by our Lord? Is there any sacrifice WE could make of which HE is not worthy? In honesty, we can answer without hesitation that we have been set free from a prison of foulness and hopelessness not a degree different from the perishing World's- no matter if the furnishings of the cell were different! Once again, we are dodging the crucial question. What did God command? Did He have a right to ask it? And in response, the unwavering imperative is 'Go'. Go to all nations- panta ta ethne (every family/people group) that they might '...fear God and give him glory, because the hour of his judgement has come. Worship him who made the heavens, the earth, the sea and the springs of water.' What is He not able to ask of us? Is there anything in the heavens or on earth which is not His handiwork? Is there any one of us who was not 'bought with a price'- does the slave halt to quibble with his Master when every moment is vital?
"Only think of all these fragile ships decaying towards death from conception, bearing immortal souls poised over the fires of hell and eternal punishment- ETERNAL SEPARATION FROM GOD! Only stop to consider for a moment what it means! How can we become callous to such infinite horror? Even if the beauty of our mission is forgotten, surely the terror of what our failure must mean to them should drive us on." God never asked that we be successful. The Bible contains no 'salvation quota', makes no promise that in ourselves we are able to win men's souls. But He demands obedience. He doesn't ask you to rise to any mark, or be anything, except faithful in carrying out His will. And His will is unmistakeably that those who have not heard should hear- and that we should be His voice, proclaiming it to them! His love for you, and for His scattered sheep in the far corners of the globe cannot be satisfied with anything else! "But this is a people plundered and looted, all of them trapped in pits or hidden away in prisons. They have become plunder, with no one to rescue them; they have been made loot, with no one to say, 'Send them back.' "We look for light, but all is darkness; for brightness, but we walk in deep shadows. Like the blind we grope along the wall, feeling our way like men without eyes. At midday we stumble as if it were twilight; among the strong we are like the dead" 'They rely on empty arguments and speak lies...their cobwebs are useless for clothing; they cannot cover themselves with what they make.' Leonard Dober wrote, " Even if no one should be benefited, and no fruits follow my efforts, yet I will go, for I must obey my Savior's call." In eternity- when all is complete, and earth is only a memory, will it matter that you got a good job? Lived in that dream home? Got the right education? Married according to your inclinations? Had a safe, comfortable life? Where in Scripture are we called to safety, much less to comfort? What does that have to do with 'taking up one's cross'? Once again, I'm asking these things of myself more even than of anyone who reads this. If someone joins the millitary, it is expected that he will have considered the risks and sacrifices involved. He goes into every battle with the realization that he might be injured, that he may lose his life, or be imprisoned, that he may never see his loved ones again. And that is only for an earthly conflict- from men who may well be in the wrong! Yet if it is suggested that such strenuous discipline might be required of a follower of Christ, the idea is shoved uncomfortably away as extreme. In what way extreme? Are we not sent into the world as He was- to bring redemption to men at whatever cost God appoints? Should servants expect to fare so much better than their Master? Do we actually justify such arrogance on a daily basis, simply because it comes 'naturally' to us? NATURAL- to US! And don't we know what WE are?! Someone, I can't remember who, once said "Count the cost by all means- but do your arithmetic at the foot of the cross.' Face to face with Him, the language of sacrifice must necessarily vanish from our lips and hearts to be replaced by utter, joyful surrender- we have nothing to give Him, after all, which is not more than His by right! There is nothing we could consider giving up for Him that He hasn't already given up for us! Contemplate that for a moment- and then, open your heart, still fixed on His love, to the vision of the lost world. NTM estimates that there are 2500 unreached people groups remaining- peoples with their own language, and culture- but in no less need of the truth than you and I once were. NTM's figure is low- elsewhere I have found estimates that there are as many as 6,000 unreached people groups remaining, 4,000 of them unengaged, and that two billion people are included in that category. Who will go to them? Will you? Will I?
Our generation (I am speaking primarily to high schoolers and college students with this) is placed at a unique point in history. The communist block in Asia is rapidly opening up to foreign involvement- nations such as Vietnam, China, Cambodia, and North Korea, considered nearly inaccessible only a few years ago, are now rapidly developing, eager for educators and English teachers. According to the Joshua project website, 80% of the people groups of North Korea are unreached. Is it worth the "sacrifice" of a few years to "risk" your fragile life in the infinite hands of God in order to take the light there? What about Africa, wracked by poverty and disease, and home to so many of the world's unreached peoples? Or Indonesia and New Guinea, with wild tribes scattered through their jungles like pockets of jewels in a mine. The Muslims of Indonesia don't think that it is an 'unreasonable' sacrifice to go to those tribes with their religion; can no one be bothered to go to them with the truth? And there is the Muslim world- much of Africa, Asia, and the Middle East. Do you think they are all bomb strapping terrorists? Have you ever stopped to recognize them as ordinary people brutalized by extraordinary violence and fears, and dying in their sin? DYING IN THEIR SIN! With all the deserved penalty of that sin to be faced for eternity! Does it not move you at all? Is that knowledge, combined with Christ's power, not enough to lift us out of ourselves, of our petty hopes and plans, to the level of giving 'past costing point'? It is not an unrealistic aspiration. Do you think God created any heart that isn't His to mold and redeem? More Muslims have come to Christ in the past twenty years than in all of history! God is working powerfully in their culture; will you be a part of it?
Perhaps you are saying now, "Well, of course, if that is what God wants me to do, I'm willing- but I haven't been called yet." Would we give credence to the idea that some are not 'called' to purity? That there are people not 'called' to honor their parents? That it is possible to be a follower of Christ while not being called to love God and one's neighbor, to forgive those who hurt us, to refrain from hurting others? Are any of God's universal commands selective in their application? God called those who are redeemed by Christ to 'Go, and preach the Gospel to all nations'. Your part in that will differ from mine. He isn't calling you to go where the world thinks you should go, or the church thinks you should go, or where I think you ought to go (And I have to admit- a part of me wants to see every missionary hurl himself into the vast, gapingly empty, hope starved continent that is Asia) Your 'Go' may encompass the people next door, or the people on the other side of the world- but make no mistake. If you are a disciple of Christ, and following Him, you WILL go somewhere, or else be disobedient. And don't be too hasty in saying, "Oh, but I'm sure that God will be satisfied if I just stay here and share my faith. After all, doesn't our country have needs too?" America does have needs; we are in no position even to comprehend the needs of the world! For instance, while only four out of every one hundred Americans can be described as having no church connections, there are places in the world where there is the equivalent of ONE evangelical minister for the population of nearly the entire midwest! In North India there is one missionary for every 500,000 people! In North Africa there is one missionary for every two million people! That would be the same as having only 120 Christian workers, and seven SMALL churches to serve the ENTIRE population of Canada and the United States COMBINED! We have more evangelical churches than that in the Kansas City area alone! China has 400 languages and tribes with no access to the Gospel, and not a word of the Bible in their own language! I am not saying that America doesn't need workers, or that no one should minister here- but we are glutted with light compared to the rest of the world! Can you stand before God one day and say without shame that you labored to spread a feast before your own countrymen while billions starved outside your borders? Out of every 140 Americans who go into full time ministry, only one will go to the unreached world! Are you justified in following the other one hundred thirty-nine? Out of every dollar given to the American church, only one cent goes to the unreached world! Is that what we call 'strategy'? Is there any balance in that? Why are we so concerned with carpets and landscaping and lighting fixtures when a life or death battle is raging just out of earshot? I am not saying that God 'needs' you or your money. He is not a beggar, unable to provide for His own work. He will claim the victory in His time, in His own way- but will YOU be a part of it? Who has more joy in a victory- the one who gave everything to help make it possible, or the indifferent watcher on the sidelines? Exciting things are happening! Approximately 155,000 people entered the kingdom of God today! (Mainly in Lafricasia) In twenty-four years, unreached people groups went from 60% of the global population, to 30%! That means that fewer than thirty years from now, there could be a church plant in every known people group in the world... So what if you aren't sure exactly where He would have you go? Focus on Him and His leading. The worst thing that could happen is that the 'wrong' people might get saved! :-) Amy Carmichael worked in Japan and China for several years before she was brought to her life's work among the child prostitutes of India.
And what part will you play? God has given you the calling- He has equipped you with the power, even though you may not think so now. There is no useless ability: Computer technicians, doctors, nurses, farmers, teachers, scientists, mechanics, aviators, dishwashers- there is work for everyone! Only open yourself up to be placed where He wants you! There are so many who are eager to stay at home. So many who would like to give a few dollars and forget. So many who are closing their ears to the shriek of blind, uncomprehending agony rising up from the blind, STONE BLIND peoples of the globe- do you really want to be one more? Or will your life be different?
"But those generations passing away at this moment! They must hear of the Savior! How can we wait! O Lord of Harvests, do send forth laborers! Here am I, Lord. Behold me, send me. How deaf must be the deafness of the ear which has never heard the story; how blind the eye that has not looked on Christ for light; how pressed the soul that has no hope of glory; how hideous the fate of man who knoweth only night! God, arouse us to care, to feel as He Himself does for their welfare." -Jim Elliot
"And if we answer the call to discipleship, where will it lead us? What decisions and partings will it demand? To answer this question, we shall have to go to Him, for only He knows the answer. Only Jesus Christ, who bids us follow Him, knows the journey's end. But we do know that it will be a road of boundless mercy. Discipleship means joy." -Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Lessons From A Prayer Walk:

On Monday, some of the Navs met to prayer walk the campus. Jeremy and the rest of the group read and prayed together for a while in the lobby of the Blum, and, afterwards, we split into pairs. I went with Margaret.
Margaret and I walked to several places. In each spot, we paused to examine a passage of Scripture, and then to pray it, applying it to whoever/whatever we were focusing on- students, faculty, Christian groups.
At the first stop: Psalm 68:18-20
'When you ascended on high, you led captives in your train; you received gifts from men, even from the rebellious- that you, O Lord God, might dwell there. Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens. Our God is a God who saves; from the Sovereign Lord comes escape from death."
Lord, we stood outside of the dormitories, then. Christ, You have ascended on high- You have conquered all that stood between us and You, now break down everything that is a barrier between these students and an understanding of You. Lord, I know that I am a captive in Your train. Thank You for Your love in claiming me, for Your grace that means that I am, as Chambers exulted: "...in the procession of a conqueror, and always led in triumph." God, You are worthy of all gifts and all glory- and You have received gifts, even from the rebellious. These buildings are full of the rebellious, Lord- and all too often I am one of them. Work in each of our hearts. Bring wisdom, bring understanding, bring the utter brokenness of repentance. Bring Your Spirit, Lord, down upon Missouri Western's residents. Thank You, Lord, for being our Savior, and a God who daily bears our burdens. Free us from the crippling pride that tempts us to insist upon carrying all burdens ourselves. When faced with heartache, God, let us seek refuge not in independence, but DEPENDENCE on You- not in self-sufficiency, but in the faith and humility that is willing to throw itself entirely upon Your sufficiency. Through You we have escaped from death, for You are the way of escape. So many of these before us, and all around us daily are trapped, condemned, still under a sentence of death. Father, be their escape- overwhelm their rebellion, their objections, their self-will, and ennable them to freely give to You the gifts of surrender, and worship. Amen.
At the second stop: Isaiah 54:2-5
"Enlarge the place of your tent, stretch your tent curtains wide, do not hold back; lengthen your cords, strengthen your stakes. For you will spread out to the right and to the left... Do not be afraid; you will not suffer shame. Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated...For your Maker is your husband- the Lord Almighty is his name- the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; HE IS CALLED THE GOD OF ALL THE EARTH..."
Lord, we prayed this last while standing in the Blum, preparing for the outreach of today and tomorrow. You have been so faithful today- so many people filled out the Spiritual Interest surveys- so many contacts were built- so many good discussions were had. Thank You so much for sending the group from Northwest to help us get our new semester 'off the ground'. You know, Father, how nervous we were- it was completely new to some of us- and, even for me- well, let's just say it's nothing like children's ministry! :-) But You carried us through! Please don't let us be concerned about the good opinion of others- if we look like absolute fools patrolling the Student Union with the Gospel, then, oh, let me be a fool, Lord! Thank You for Your promise that we will NOT be humiliated! But let us say, as Much-Afraid did, when the Shepherd asked her "Do you believe that I will let you be put to shame?"
"I don't think that I mind so very much if You do; only have Your will and way in me, Shepherd. Nothing else matters."
No, NOTHING ELSE MATTERS. This promise will be fulfilled in Your time- but let us also remember that You Yourself were willing to be stripped naked before a jeering crowd, flogged beyond recognition, nailed to the very symbol of wrongdoing, and judged for all of the sin of mankind. Humiliation is not the issue. Saving face is irrelevant. Saving souls is vital. We will be justified one day. Until then, Lord, we are willing to bear the same scorn which You aroused in the hearts of Your enemies. Embolden us to enlarge the place of our tents this semester. Do not let us be satisfied, God, with a 'comfortable' ministry. Lord- send revival! Send growth! We trust that You will swell our ranks, ennable us to spread out to the right and to the left. Send us out, O God of all the earth, INTO all the earth with the good news of Your salvation! Amen.
The third stop: Ephesians 3:16-20
"I pray that out of His glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge- that you may be filled to the measure of all the fulness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to hm be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever!"
Lord, this is the prayer of the Navigators, for ourselves, and for our group, and for the entire body of Christ here at Missouri Western.Amen.
The fourth stop: 2 Corinthians 10:3-5
"For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."
Lord, thank You for arming us with spiritual weapons. Encourage us in faithfulness to train ourselves in their use. Lord, we lift up to You the strongholds of Your enemy on this campus. Demolish them, Lord- equip us to battle in Your cause. Remind us that the victory is already Yours, and ours, through Jesus Christ. Let us be gentle and loving with those we contact- but for those pretensions which set themselves up against the knowledge of God, may we have no mercy. Let us recognise them in professors and fellow students, and battle against them there. Let us give them no foothold in our own hearts and minds. Teach us, Lord, to take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ. Equip us with discipline, and perseverance in Your Word, that every element in our lives and thoughts might be pleasing to You. Amen.
After the walking teams all arrived back in the Blum, Jeremy finished up with some discussion and prayer. He closed his prayer with this, and as he talked, I felt the tears stinging at my eyes:
"There are so many days, and weeks when it seems that all of our words and actions are falling upon dry, and rocky ground. Lord, we know that it is only through Your Spirit that this hard soil will be broken, and made soft- God, grant us faithfulness in scattering the seed of Your Word."
I would so like to say of myself that, although I had very minimal spiritual impact last semester, I was still faithful in scattering seed- that I was faithful in prayer, faithful in fasting, and even faithful in my own friendship with Christ. But I can't. So much time was wasted, so many opportunities ignored, so much pride, and sin, and self-love allowed to intrude into our fellowship. Maybe this semester won't be any different, and maybe it will. But, either way, may I remember that it isn't about me- not even about my own sin and awfulness- but about Him. His work, His glory. And my pride must have so little place in that, that even the consciousness of desperate unworthiness is insufficient to separate me from my Love and His plans for my life.